Divinity
On Sunday, Dec. 17th I lost my beloved daughter. Her name was Divinity and she was my cat but more than anything she was my child. Divinity had been sick for a while. That Sunday morning she took a turn for the worse. We knew she would not last until the morning. She had stopped eating and we knew she was close to the end. She was a stray, found on the campus of McMaster University in front of Divinity College. She was skin and bones thin and pregnant. The vet at the time predicated she was 1 1/2 to 2 years in age. If she was accurate Divinity was approaching her 18th year on this planet.
Around 7:15 I heard her lightly meowing and knew she was very close. Instincts told me to go to her. I went into the bathroom where she was laying and noticed her breathing was laboured, I knew for sure this was it. I wrapped her up and took her into the living room with me. The one thing that was important to me was that she not die alone so my mind is at rest that she wasn't. She fought it but once Emmett and I reassured her not to worry we would be fine and to just let go she relaxed as we stroked her. Her spirit left us as she took her last breath. She died at around 7:20pm. Kazuo stroked her and hugged her and said, "sweet dreams Divinity". I tried explaining it to him but I know he didn't understand. But I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
She gave us many years of unconditional love, protection and warmth. I feel as though I have lost a part of me. We do have another cat named, k.d. who is approaching his 16th birthday. Emmett gave me a significant amount of time with Divinity's shell after she had died. I was completely devastated. Finally, he gently took her from me and took her into our bedroom where k.d. was sleeping. He spent his time with her and then allowed k.d. his time. I think in times like this we tend to forget the other animals in the family and that they also need to mourn. After a while I checked in on him and he was sitting next to her shell looking at her. He has been fairly quiet this past week and I've been trying to spend more time with him. A couple of times the night Divinity died I thought I could hear her meowing, was this her way of saying she was fine? I'd like to think so.
She is going to be cremated and after Christmas we will receive her remains back. I know it is only her shell and what is most important is that her spirit is well and floating around somewhere. However, it's the last final piece I have left of her physical being. When it is my time to leave his planet she will be buried with me.
I know my friend, David is looking after her for me and I know being with her in her last moments we've somehow helped her go forward into the other side. But it doesn't change one thing and that is I still miss her terribly.
You'll always be in my heart my sweet Divinity. xo
Around 7:15 I heard her lightly meowing and knew she was very close. Instincts told me to go to her. I went into the bathroom where she was laying and noticed her breathing was laboured, I knew for sure this was it. I wrapped her up and took her into the living room with me. The one thing that was important to me was that she not die alone so my mind is at rest that she wasn't. She fought it but once Emmett and I reassured her not to worry we would be fine and to just let go she relaxed as we stroked her. Her spirit left us as she took her last breath. She died at around 7:20pm. Kazuo stroked her and hugged her and said, "sweet dreams Divinity". I tried explaining it to him but I know he didn't understand. But I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
She gave us many years of unconditional love, protection and warmth. I feel as though I have lost a part of me. We do have another cat named, k.d. who is approaching his 16th birthday. Emmett gave me a significant amount of time with Divinity's shell after she had died. I was completely devastated. Finally, he gently took her from me and took her into our bedroom where k.d. was sleeping. He spent his time with her and then allowed k.d. his time. I think in times like this we tend to forget the other animals in the family and that they also need to mourn. After a while I checked in on him and he was sitting next to her shell looking at her. He has been fairly quiet this past week and I've been trying to spend more time with him. A couple of times the night Divinity died I thought I could hear her meowing, was this her way of saying she was fine? I'd like to think so.
She is going to be cremated and after Christmas we will receive her remains back. I know it is only her shell and what is most important is that her spirit is well and floating around somewhere. However, it's the last final piece I have left of her physical being. When it is my time to leave his planet she will be buried with me.
I know my friend, David is looking after her for me and I know being with her in her last moments we've somehow helped her go forward into the other side. But it doesn't change one thing and that is I still miss her terribly.
You'll always be in my heart my sweet Divinity. xo
posted by Ann at 10:57 p.m.
2 Comments:
I came to wish you a Happy Christmas, but the loss of a loved pet can be devasting. I dream of my old pets - they are still there for me when I need them. Best wishes to you, and hope you are doing ok.
Thanks so much for your thoughts. I'm doing okay but not a day goes by where I don't miss her. Even though I still have another cat there's a void which exists. She was a unique cat. Very laid back, I used to call her my "60's" cat and always had this stoned look on her face. But if she ever thought our family was threatened she'd be on guard. I absolutely love animals but it's so hard when it's time for their spirit to move on.
Thanks again for your thoughts, as each day passes it gets a little easier. At least now I am able to talk to people about her without turning into a blubbering fool. :-)
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