Good things to look forward to...

Within the challenges of what life is throwing at me at the moment I thought about what lies ahead in 2006. I look forward to reuniting with a wonderful friend in a few weeks time, I have Kazuo's 2nd birthday in April (hard to believe), my 17th wedding anniversary in May, time with family and friends, the birth of my childhood friend's 2nd child (friends since we were 6 years old) in June, birth of my daycare provider's 2nd child, summer vacation, a Who tour, and more reuniting with Who people. I'm truly grateful for all that I have and what awaits me. I've done a lot of "house cleaning" in my life the past year - letting go of the negative influences in my life and concentrating on the positive. Contrary to what some believe when I wake up in the morning I DO find all my good friends still with me. I hold these wonderful people close to my heart and I look forward to our times together.

I'm tired of the ranting I've been doing on my blog lately. When I first started this I didn't think people would be reading my blog or be interested. I was going to head into a different direction. Now it's going into a direction that is getting tiresome for me. That's not how I want to spend my time. As much as it is a release to do so, my energy should be heading in a more positive karmic path. After all that I have been through the past couple of months I shouldn't have to remind myself of that. So...you'll be happy to read I'm trusting the Universe to take care of the "what goes around comes around" part and I'll concentrate on the positive.

Happy blog time. ;-)

Memories

I just finished reading Simon's blog and he talked about Brighton and posted some great pictures of his day there. I went to Brighton in 2003 for the first time. I did the self Quad tour with friends lead by the infamous Bjorn. Bless him, he's one of the best Who fans in this world. That was the best day of my whole trip. It even beat out the Who Convention.

If you've never been to Brighton you must go. Quadrophenia was/is an important album for me. Like many people it spoke to me, it understood me, it saved me from destruction. Going to Brighton allowed me to sit on that beach that Jimmy sat on and think. I thought of my life and everything that lead me to that day. When I left I felt centred again and very thankful for everything I had. Little did I know I was pregnant with my son, Kazuo. One day myself, Emmett and Kazuo will go to Brighton and I can sit with Kazuo on that beach and tell him it was the place where Quadrophenia was made. The very album I played and pressed my pregnant belly on the speakers for his little ears to hear. I hope when he hears the water caressing each stone on the beach he'll feel at home and happy just like me.

Assumptions...dangerous

I've kept these thoughts to myself for a couple or so weeks now and didn't feel like writing them down until now. They are only my observations and please note I haven't read my new friends' blogs for quite sometime (my apologies) so I'm not making any references to your blog posts.

Perhaps in a way it's a rant but I will try not to make it sound like one, which may be hard so you've been forewarned. I find it absolutely mind boggling how people who "assume" they know you bring it upon themselves to analyze you and come to their own conclusions without any facts on the current state of the other's life. The second part that amazes me is that these people are so self absorbed and self centred to begin with so for them to leave themselves for a second to analyze someone else's life is quite amusing. These are the type of people who ask you how you are and then spend the rest of the evening either talking about themselves, not listening and putting down other people who you both know. It just floors me beyond belief. Then they wonder why you're not around any more. HELLO!

Perhaps it's unfair of me to be as harsh as I am when ties have been cut without a word. But to be quite honest when you observe this type of behaviour all you want to do is head for the hills without turning back. This is not to say I will not be nice to these people if paths ever cross again. Of course I'll be nice but I just won't be sharing anything personal about my life to them. I wish them well and all the best that life has to offer. It's just that my meaning of friendship doesn't jive with what they've shown me. In my eyes friendship means respect in what we share as friends but also respect that the other person has their own life. I have a few friends where we do not speak to eachother or see eachother for years. Then for some reason the time is right and we connect up again. There's no anger for not keeping in touch, in fact there is an understanding that life gets busy but it doesn't mean we're angry at eachother or forgotten eachother. When we connect again it's as though we never parted and we pick up where we left off. No strings attached to the type of friendship I believe in. I believe in giving the other space and I truly believe when the time is right we will see eachother again. These are the people who have blessed me with their friendship for many years and we remain closer than ever. However in someone else's eyes if you do not keep in touch or see eachother everytime this person "demands" it - it means you will lose your friends and then one day you'll wake up and find no one there. What a sad conclusion and how incredibly wrong it is. When I say demand I mean there is no understanding that your life is very busy and your priorities are different than their's.

I've learned the past year how precious life is and how in a second it can be taken away from you. Or how one day can change your life forever. I don't have time for foolish behaviour like this. I have time for the true friendships. I look at life differently now. My true friends are more precious to me than ever, my family is equally as precious and life is enjoyed even more now. Have you ever seen how blue the sky is at 7am in the morning when it's still dark? Have a look next time, it's the most incredible blue you've ever seen. This is life around us and we all need to stop, take our heads out of our own asses and observe once in a while because if we don't we stop living.

LOL, told you this would end up being a rant. Enjoy your family and friends and most importantly enjoy life folks!

I want to send a tons of hugs and thoughts to a special friend who is going through a very rough time right now. I'm only a phone call or holler away hon. See you soon. xoxo