Not the Real Me
I'm feeling quite frustrated at the moment. I feel as though I've been misunderstood or rather my personality has been misunderstood. Unfortunately I haven't been given the chance to "redeem" myself. So I use my blog to vent some frustration and straighten some things out. Rather than rant I will just tell you briefly about myself.
I'm just your average Canadian woman. I'm normally a shy person and quiet. I love to laugh and have a sarcastic side to me. I'm deep. I'm married with an adorable (if I do say so myself) 1 1/2 year old son. I'm not a nutter and for some stupid reason anytime I try to reach out and do something nice it's taken the wrong way. I want to do things for people and I certainly do not expect anything in return. It seems as though this is what gets me into trouble. Almost two years ago a friend of someone I admire and respect thought that my "niceness" may mean I was willing to do something extra. Of course I didn't but I was pretty upset and wondered and worried if this creep would brag about something that didn't happen to this person I admired so much. I have a feeling this is all coming back to haunt me now and it really has me upset (i.e hurt upset not angry upset). I just can't win. I'm sorry I ever crossed paths with this creep and I'm sorry if I ever made any of you out there feel so uncomfortable that you felt you had to avoid me.
I've said my peace and now I can move forward...
I'm just your average Canadian woman. I'm normally a shy person and quiet. I love to laugh and have a sarcastic side to me. I'm deep. I'm married with an adorable (if I do say so myself) 1 1/2 year old son. I'm not a nutter and for some stupid reason anytime I try to reach out and do something nice it's taken the wrong way. I want to do things for people and I certainly do not expect anything in return. It seems as though this is what gets me into trouble. Almost two years ago a friend of someone I admire and respect thought that my "niceness" may mean I was willing to do something extra. Of course I didn't but I was pretty upset and wondered and worried if this creep would brag about something that didn't happen to this person I admired so much. I have a feeling this is all coming back to haunt me now and it really has me upset (i.e hurt upset not angry upset). I just can't win. I'm sorry I ever crossed paths with this creep and I'm sorry if I ever made any of you out there feel so uncomfortable that you felt you had to avoid me.
I've said my peace and now I can move forward...
posted by Ann at 10:57 p.m.
10 Comments:
Hi Ann!Yes,of course I remember
you.Actually,I've been trying to figure out how to get back to the Grid but everytime I did a google search I came up empty.
I was wondering if you can you email me with a link at lowgens02@aol.com
Glad you liked the pics.
As for your last couple of posts.
Keep your chin up,you're not
alone.I've made some costly
mistakes trusting people.There
are a few *real* people left.
It's unfortunate that we have
to play *defense* and not just
be able to let the *offense* flow.Meaning,by being simply who we are.There are alot of creeps
out there and in the blog world
it gives them an even easier
headstart.This week has been
one of the darkest weeks that
I can remember.I've decided to
lean on the people that
I know that care the most
and that is my brother and
mother.I was afraid of being
a burdon but they really helped
me get through this.You are great
person and you have a great
family,so screw those other
people if they don't understand.
I really liked those words you
wrote down.Yes,it was a poem.
very real and that's how you
were feeling right there and then.
I know what you mean when you say
that you can create in your mind
but can't get it out on paper
as well as you had it in your
soul.I hate that,I go through
that alot.Actually, very much
with this reply I am typing
right now :O)
Mike,
You are still as I remember you...a real gentleman and very, very sweet. Thank you for your kind words and support. You're one in a million. What you wrote really touched my heart, and yes I have to admit I did have tears in my eyes. But don't feel bad about that it's all good. I started to regret what I wrote when I went to bed and was going to delete this blog post but your encouragement has made me feel so much better.
I'm so sorry to hear that this past week has been a difficult one for you. Please know you can trust me and if you need to vent please do not hesitate to email me or leave a blog comment. You're right, family is the one constant one can depend upon. I doubt very much you were a burdon on them. They love you very much and would do anything for you. It's weird that I've also had a very, very stressful week as well. I saw your posts on Pete's blog but waited to check out your blog until last night. I think I just needed to see a familiar friendly Who face last night.
Thanks again Mike for your support and words. I can't tell you how much strength they have given me. You're a doll.
Ann
Mike,
P.S.
Email is on it's way to you with The Grid's web address. Just to forewarn you it seems like anyone with an AOL account has a lot of problems posting etc... on the Grid. If you have another email account with hotmail or gmail it may be better to use that to log on if you have to start from scratch. Please do not hesitate to email me if you have problems. If you need a gmail account I think I still have some to give away.
Ann
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hey Jimmy,
Thanks for your comments. Sorry to hear about what your "friend" did to you. This is why I am so cautious when it comes to getting close to people. It takes me quite a long time to trust someone even though they think they know me well. Not so. I only reveal the surface not the inner part of me. At least not until trust is established. It's saved me a lot of heartache. No worries, my last post has nothing to do with any bloggers' nasty comments. I haven't received any nasty comments....yet. I tend to vent, comment, or think out loud on blogs.
Bruce Cockburn is an amazing artist. There's very few out there who write good lyrics with meaning. I've been a fan for quite sometime and even had the pleasure of meeting and chatting with Bruce on several occasions. He's a great guy. Definitely check out one of his CDs. It's hard to recommend one in particular they are all good.
Thanks for the comment and your support. :-)
Ann
Thanks Anne-Marie. No worries, my comments had nothing to do with a blogger's comments or anyone to do with The Grid.
Hopefully you are right and that truth will win out in the end but sometimes people are too self absorbed to realize what is happening around them. So we'll see how things work out.
Thanks again.
Ann
Jimmy,
I've had to go the Word Verification route I'm afraid. Damn that spam. Let me know if you have problems commenting on my blog via your blog.
Ann
Hey Ann will you please email me the address to the Grid too. I will post my email back up on my Profile of my blog for you! Thanks so much!
I think you should leave this up! It is needed sometimes. I put a little one like this up...well a hint of KARMA. You should read it it is pretty funny! Directed towards a less than stellar blogger! Sad really!
Molly
Jimmy,
I don't get the link to your blog. Not sure what you could do other than what you have done (get in touch with the people who run the blog). I would keep emailing them until you get a response. There should be some technical help available.
Ann
Molly,
I don't see the link to your email address on your blogger profile. You can always email me if you like, it's on my profile. There's also a link to the Grid under my links. Let me know if you have any probs registering.
Ann
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